Sex Offender? Not exactly…

Category : Crime, Humor, Legal

I’m sure most of you are well aware of the terrible accusations that have targeted the Penn State football program and it’s former Defensive Coordinator Jerry Sandusky. IF the allegations are true, this man is someone the public must be protected from. He is a perverted and devious predator that can inflict tremendous physical and psychological harm. The impact of  his horrendous crimes extend far beyond the innocent young victims. Such criminal behavior has the potential for affecting an entire community. That is precisely why sex offender laws in place require these sick individuals to register their place of residence with the local county’s sex offender registry. Where these public offenders live is all public information and you can look it up online at anytime. We have come to demand these individuals to do so not just for our protection, but also as a form of punishment by shame. And for those who are rapists, child molesters, and the like, rightfully so!

But there are some “crimes” categorized as sex offenses that just don’t fit the bill.  For example, did you know that if you are caught ”streaking” or “flashing” someone, you could be prosecuted as a sex offender and be required to register as such for the rest of your life? Better rethink how important it is to join that fraternity or sorority! Or even worse, if you are caught urinating in public, you can be arrested for indecent exposure AND since it is considered a sex offense in the majority of states, you will be required to register as a sex offender!

This is just ludicrous. I understand the importance of protecting the community from sexual deviants but there is no sexual connotation to urinating in public. Yes, a private part is being exposed but it is not for sexual gratification (unless you’re a freak like R. Kelly) and nor is it directed towards anyone in that manner. Most of us have had the misfortune of desperately looking for a toilet with none to be found in sight! It’s embarrassing enough to be caught in the act, but to also be prosecuted as a sex offender is just adding insult to injury!

So please repeal these stupid laws!

P.S. Many states also prosecute those who solicit prostitution as sex offenders so please BEWARE of those who wear extra short shorts walking the sidewalks past 10 p.m!

Before you flip the cops off…

Category : Crime, Current Events, Legal

I’ve been asked many times whether it is illegal to “shoot the bird” at the cops. The answer to that question is clear – NO. Flipping someone off, whether they be a civilian or a police officer, is an expressive form of speech protected under the First Amendment. While the gesture is universally considered to be offensive, it alone cannot be grounds for an arrest. Speech only becomes unprotected, and thus subject to prosecution, when it is deemed “obscene” (yes the courts differentiate between offensive and obscene). Obscenity usually entails a sexual connotation and thus shooting the bird (for the most part) is exempted.

But the real question is not whether you can, but whether you should! Cops are not always the brightest. Yes, police officers do receive educational training in criminal law and are generally taught what actions constitute a criminal action, but their knowledge is quite limited. It is not uncommon for them to arrest someone for an action they “think” is against the law, but in reality is not. In fact, they have arrested people for shooting the bird many times, with the case eventually being dismissed or overturned on appeal. Let us not forget the ego associated with those in positions of authority. Cops have arrested people for disrespecting their authority under the guise of “disorderly conduct.”

One thing is for sure, you better have your ducks in a row before you throw ‘em up. Case in point, a woman in Wisconsin last week sped past a cop in an unmarked car and shot the bird at him in a fit for not initially allowing her to pass him up. The cop pulled her over and while he couldn’t give her a ticket for shooting the bird, he cited her for driving with a suspended license, reckless driving, and eventually arrested her for an outstanding warrant. So before you roll down that window, make sure you got a valid license and insurance!

Warning to you Texas Residents:

The State of Texas has a specific law that allows motorists to be prosecuted if the gesture occurs during a “road rage” incident. So think twice before you start doing your best impression of”The Hulk.”

 

No So Fast & Furious: Shame on Capitol Hill

Category : Crime, Current Events, Legal

Attorney General Eric Holder has come under fire recently over the disastrous outcome of the ATF operation dubbed “Fast and Furious.” While what he knew or didn’t know about the operation may be a concern, what is more disturbing is the seemingly new modus operandi of federal policing agencies. In 2009, the bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco & Firearms (“ATF”) ran a sting operation tracking firearms dealing across the US/Mexico border. They had detailed tracking information on more than 2,000 firearms that smugglers had transported from the states across border lines into Mexico. Instead of stopping the shipments in transit, the ATF permitted the arms to reach their destination in order to build a bigger case against top Mexican drug cartels suspected of purchasing the illegal weapons.

Unfortunately, the ATF got what they wanted. Thanks to the ridiculous operation coined “Fast & Furious,” the weapons fell in the hands of these very dangerous criminal organizations and they did, well, what dangerous criminals do. Kill. And had they not killed a federal agent last year with the very same guns the ATF basically handed them, this disastrous operation would probably not have come to light. The gun used in that murder was just one of the many guns traced in a plethora of other crimes used by the drug cartels. What’s worse is that the ATF lost track of more than 400 guns they were tracing in the operation. As a result, there is no telling what crimes the US government may vicariously be responsible for.

Yes, the US is responsible here. It is the central goal of every policing authority in the United States, from your local police department to the federal bureau of investigation, to not only stop a crime in commission but to also PREVENT it before it occurs if at all possible. Not only did the ATF have ample opportunity to prevent these weapons from crossing, they assisted in their successful transport by ordering border patrol agents to “stand down” as reports came in that a large number of guns were being smuggled.

It is not and SHOULD not be a tactic of the ATF, FBI, or CIA to entrap individuals in order to bring criminal charges. They sure as hell shouldn’t be helping criminals achieve their objective. I hope the committee hearings now undergoing on capitol hill will bring light on the flawed practices of our policing agencies. One agent testified, “I cannot begin to think of how the risk of letting guns fall into the hands of known criminals could possibly advance any legitimate law enforcement interest.”

I couldn’t agree more.

Illegal to make a fake Facebook profile?

Category : Crime, Legal

To the pranksters out there, if you’re thinking about making a fake Facebook profile, you might want to think again.  A New Jersey woman is currently the subject of an indictment accusing her of using a fake Facebook account to slander her ex-boyfriend. Dana Thorton is alleged to have created a fake Facebook profile in the name of her ex-boyfriend and posting status updates that would tell the public he used illicit drugs, frequented prostitutes, and contracted an STD.

The charges revolve around a New Jersey law that prohibits individuals from impersonating another for the purpose of “injur[ing] or defraud[ing].” In this case, the comments damaged the reputation of the ex-boyfriend who was a narcotics detective for the State of New Jersey. The fact that the impersonation occurred online in the not so serious social networking arena made no difference according to the judge presiding over the matter.

Lesson to be learned, if you want to talk trash, ditch Facebook and do it the old fashion way!

Wedding Vows by Text! Well Not Exactly…

Category : Humor, YouTube

Text Messaging has gotten out of hand. It seems every time you turn your head, someone is looking down at their phone texting. What you are about to see takes the phenomenon to an entirely different level. And it’s bad, realllly bad!

I have attached a link to a video of one of the most bizarre things I’ve seen. It is an authentic home video made of a wedding ceremony that took place in California a few years ago. As you will see, the bride receives a text message on her cellphone in the middle of the ceremony, looks at it, and has the audacity to respond! Please somebody help me here. Since when did bigamy become legal because she is obviously already married…to her cellphone! Why on earth does she have her cell phone? What on earth could she possibly be texting about? Are you kidding me?? Please take note of the incredibly sad but wickedly funny facial expression on the poor guy’s face.

 

One question for the females out there:

+ Could you ever come up with a justification for having a cellphone in your wedding dress during the ceremony?

One question for the guys:

+ Would this one instance be enough to call off the wedding and end the relationship?

{You damn skippy}

 

Bieber: “Don’t Believe Her!”

Category : Entertainment, Legal

Teen pop singer and heartthrob Justin Bieber has enjoyed incredible success so far in his young career. Aside from having an album and numerous singles go multi-platinum, the former you tube sensation has been nominated for two Grammy Awards, starred in a full feature film, and made more money last year than Jay-Z or Beyonce! Wax statues bearing his likeness appear in Madame Tussauds across the globe and he has been romantically linked to fellow teen pop star Selena Gomez.  His enormous following on Facebook, You Yube, and Twitter, perhaps make him the most influential celebrity in the social-networking world.  Unfortunately, the good news may stop there, at least for the moment.

A 20-year-old woman named Denise Mariah Yeater is doing her best rendition of Bieber’s best-selling single, “Baby.” She has just recently gone public with the allegation that Bieber is the father of her three-month-old child and has filed a lawsuit against Bieber seeking child support. According to her story, Ms. Yeater claims she and Bieber had sex backstage after a concert at the L.A. Staples Centre on October 25, 2010. She has demanded Bieber take a paternity test and provide support if he is found to be the biological father.  When I first read a report of this story, I couldn’t help but think numbers…not dollars, but ages!

I failed to mention at the beginning of this article that Justin Bieber is merely 17-years-old. He was born on March 4, 1994. I’ve never claimed to be a mathematician but that would make Bieber 16 years of age on October 25, 2010. Ms. Yeater could not have been younger than 19 as of that same date. So what we have here is a classic case of Statutory Rape. Under California law, any adult (18 years or older) who engages in sexual intercourse with a minor (under the age of 18) is guilty of statutory rape even if the minor “consents.” See California Penal Code 261.5. So if Ms. Yeater’s story is correct, she is openly confessing to have committed a serious crime. How serious depends on her birthday.  If she is 3 years or older than Bieber, then she may be prosecuted for a felony punishable by one year in state prison. If not, then she is guilty of only a misdemeanor.

The point of all this is that Ms. Yeater should have first consulted with Bieber privately about the paternity test before admitting to the world that she raped him! Because if Bieber is found not to be the father, her five minutes of fame will have done nothing but land her in a jail cell.

The Phenomenon of Contagious Yawning

Category : Health, Humor

Have you ever thought about why when others yawn, you also yawn despite not being tired? Have you ever yawned after hearing someone on the phone yawn?  Or worse, are you yawning right now because you are reading the word “yawn?”

The answer to this question requires a discussion as to what exactly causes someone to yawn in the first place. Most people associate yawning as a sign that someone is tired. Scientists argue that yawning occurs when one’s blood contains increased amounts of Carbon dioxide (CO2) and thus the body instinctively triggers a yawn to quickly inject oxygen into the bloodstream. However, this theory is not solid and many experts question whether the oxygen received during a yawn is more than that of normal respiration. Other theories for the causes of yawning include stretching, boredom, nervousness, and even controlling brain temperature.

I am personally of the opinion that yawning may be any of these IF I’m in a room by my lonesome. But if I’m in a room with someone else, and he or she yawns and I’m NOT tired, NOT nervous, and NOT bored, then why on earth am I yawning as well??? After doing some research on this issue, the best reasoning I’ve heard thus far is from V.S.. Ramachandran’s Mirror Neuron Learning by Imitation theory. I will save you from the technical mumbo jumbo and give my best summary.

According to Mr. Ramachandran, the cause for contagious yawning may lie with “mirror neurons” in the frontal cortex of the brain, which upon being exposed to stimuli from another organism, registers an imitative impulse in our own brain. These imitative impulses are the driving force of much human learning, including language acquisition. Yawning is an offshoot of this impulse, thereby rendering it nearly impossible to resist because the mirror neurons instinctively tell us to imitate whatever it is we are seeing, hearing, or otherwise sensing. Mr. Ramachandran also believed that the mirror neurons could initiate an imitative response from a difference species animal (thereby explaining why dogs will typically yawn if they see you yawn and vice versa).

To put this theory to the test, I have inserted a picture of an interspecific organism (fancy language for the crazy looking donkey below) that is yawning. Please look at the picture and make note of your response, if any.

 

 

 

 

 

If you yawned, then the theory is correct. The mirror neurons in your brain recognized a yawn (even though it wasn’t a human being) and triggered an imitative response. If you didn’t yawn, at least you learned a valuable lesson from Mr. Ed’s evil twin here: PLEASE COVER YOUR MOUTH WHEN YOU YAWN!